Tifa placed the phone down and looked at the clock on her VCR. Eleven thirty. She sighed. She had discovered when she was getting ready for bed last night that one of her earrings was missing. She didn't see it in her apartment. Most likely she had lost it somewhere at the nightclub, perhaps when Reno had been dragging her across the floor, but there was a small chance it might have come off in the car. She wanted to get in touch with Reno to have him look and she hoped to do that before he brought the car back to whomever he had borrowed it from, if he hadn't already. She had called twice already so far, however, and there had been no answer.
That worried her a little. She didn't think he'd be out. Most likely, this time of day, she was pretty sure he'd still be home sleeping. True, they hadn't stayed out late last night, but who said he went home after dropping her off? For all she knew, he could have spent half the night at some bar.
Maybe he was sleeping. Maybe he just didn't want to answer the phone. Maybe he was home right now cursing out whoever it was who had the nerve to call him at such an ungodly hour. Or maybe it was something else...
She hadn't forgotten the car chase, or the fact that someone was after them. They'd lost their pursuer last night, but that didn't mean whoever it was hadn't found out where Reno lived, or somehow caught up with him again last night after he had dropped her off.
Maybe she was just being paranoid. It seemed rather a waste of time to go all the way across town just because he wasn't answering his phone. When she got there he would probably just make fun of her for worrying.
Foolish as it may seem, she nevertheless decided to do just that. Even if nothing was wrong, it would give her a chance to see if he had her earring. It was her favorite pair, after all.
She was lucky, Priscilla was available and said she would watch Karisa. Tifa considered herself fortunate to have found Priscilla. The girl was a wonder, and Tifa didn't know how she would ever be able to thank her enough for all the times she'd watched Karisa on short notice, or none at all.
A quick taxi ride and Tifa found herself standing in front of Reno's apartment building. The sky was clear today, the air crisp and cold, the sun shining down brightly but providing little warmth. It was actually a fairly pleasant day compared to how it had been the last few days.
Tifa walked into the building. Two teenaged boys stood at the base of the stairway, turning to look at her as she entered. Even though Tifa could tell they were young, it wasn't their size that was the giveaway. They were both big, as large as an adult. One wore a leather jacket, the other denim. They both wore jeans with holes in them and leather gloves with the fingers cut off. They stared at Tifa as she approached. She had never seen any of the other tenants of Reno's building, and she didn't like the look of them. Considering the kind of neighborhood this was, however, their look didn't surprise her.
"Hey baby, where ya going?"
Tifa didn't reply, just looked down, avoiding eye contact, at the same time slowly balling her hands into fists.
"Woo hoo, ain't we a looker."
"Stick around, babe. We'll show you a good time."
She had reached them now. They were right beside her. She increased her step to get past them.
One of them made kissing sounds at her. She felt her body tense.
A moment later she was past them.
"Hey, what's your rush?"
"Yeah, don't be shy."
She walked on, up the steps.
"We'll be waiting for you when you come back!"
"Then we can have some fun! Satisfaction guaranteed, that's our motto!"
She heard them laugh. She walked down the hallway, away from the staircase and their laughter faded, finally letting herself relax, grateful they hadn't tried anything. The last thing she wanted was to get into a fight with two punks this early in the morning.
Reaching Reno's door, she stopped and knocked.
She waited for some time, but there was no answer.
She knocked a second time, glancing down the hallway. It was empty up here. There was a window at the end of the corridor, but it was covered with dirt, the sunlight barely penetrating and leaving the hallway dim and gloomy, even in the middle of the day.
She looked at Reno's door again. He wasn't home, or just didn't want to answer or...
Again she got that uneasy feeling in her gut. Where would be be this early in the morning?
Just for the hell of it she reached down and turned the knob.
The door opened.
She stood there for a long moment. She could see in the room now, a little bit, through the open door. Just a small portion of it, the far wall and his desk in front of it, and just a small part of the counter that held the sink. Everything seemed in place.
It didn't seem right not to announce herself before walking into someone's apartment. Instead she pushed the door open all the way. She could see most of the room now. Reno was lying on the couch, half a dozen bottles on the floor beside him.
She walked in and shut the door. Taking her coat off and throwing it across a chair, she quickly strode over to him. She had to push the bottles aside with her foot. Their were all kinds there. Scotch, vodka, rum, even wine. It seemed he had grabbed whatever he could find. She knew Reno liked to drink but this seemed excessive even for him. He was lying on the couch, curled up, facing away from her. He wasn't moving. Sick with sudden worry she reached down and shook his shoulder.
"Reno!"
He moaned.
She felt the knot in her stomach ease just a bit. At least he was alive.
She tried to turn him so she could see his face. He lifted a hand to brush her aside.
"Lemme alone," he muttered.
"Reno, what have you done to yourself?" she said softly.
"Got stinkin' drunk," he replied.
"Why?" she asked.
"Go away."
"Reno, what is wrong with you?"
"I said go away!"
Again he swatted at her. She easily avoided it.
"I'm not going to go away!" she retorted. "What the hell is going on here? What happened? Why are you drinking like this?"
"I drink all the time," he responded.
"Not like this! What's wrong?"
He turned toward her. His eyes were bloodshot, and his breath reeked of alcohol.
"Nothing's wrong!" he snapped. "And I don't need you to be my stinkin' nursemaid!"
"I'm not trying to be your nursemaid. I'm just trying to help!"
"Why?" he shouted, so loudly it made her cringe backwards. "What the hell is with you anyway? Why would you want to help me? I'm just a drunk who's never taken responsibility for anything in his life. A vicious thug. Isn't that what you said?"
Again Tifa was taken aback. Yes, she had called him that, but that couldn't be what this was all about.
"I'm sorry," she said.
"No, it's true. All of it. So why would you want to help me? What, you think you can cure me with your goodness? You think you can wave your little magic wand and suddenly I'll turn into a fucking saint? I'm not your little reclamation project!"
"Reno, I never said you were... I never thought..."
"Just get the hell out of here and leave me alone. I don't need anyone! I don't need you!"
"Reno, stop it!" she cried out. "I'm not an angel. I told you that a long time ago. I don't have a magic wand. I'm not trying to save you. I'm just trying to be your friend. That's what you wanted, wasn't it, to be friends?"
"I don't need no fucking friends."
"Reno!"
"No, just go! Get the hell out of here. I don't want you here. I already have my friends with me. They're right here."
He ran his hand along the floor beside him, groping for one of the bottles, but when he touched one, it just rolled away.
"Reno, alcohol isn't your friend!" Tifa retorted. "It's going to kill you if you keep this up!"
"Like I give a shit!" he snapped.
She reached out to put a hand on his shoulder again, but once again he pushed it roughly aside.
"I said go!"
"I'm not leaving you!" Tifa said defiantly. "Not in this condition!"
She knelt down beside the couch, reaching down and picking up the bottles. Most of them were empty, but a few still had liquor in them.
"What are you doing?" he snapped.
"I'm getting rid of these!" she replied.
"You leave them alone!"
He reached out and, more out of luck than anything else, managed to grab hold of her shoulder and thrust her backwards. She fell over awkwardly onto the floor, the bottles spilling out of her hands. Reno reached down and snagged one of the ones she had left behind. One of the one's that still had liquor in it.
"Reno, please stop!" Tifa exclaimed, pulling herself to her knees once more. He hadn't hurt her, just thrown her off balance. She was much more worried about him than herself anyway.
It seemed he had no intention of stopping. He lifted the bottle to his lips, the liquid pouring down on his face and neck, getting only a small portion of it into his mouth, until Tifa lunged forward and snatched the bottle away.
"Give that back!" he shouted, his face turning red with rage. Tifa had no intention of doing anything of the sort. She turned and started to stand up, to put some distance between them, but with a speed she didn't know he possessed he pulled himself off the couch and grabbed hold her her, causing her to cry out in surprise. She twisted round, trying to break his grip while at the same time trying to keep the bottle he was groping for with his free hand out of his reach. He twisted her around just as she tried to pull away from him and their feet got tangled, with the result of them falling to the floor, with him on top.
Tifa hit the ground pretty hard, landing flat on her back and banging her head. She didn't feel much pain, however, being too busy trying to pull away, lifting her arm to keep the bottle Reno was still determined to obtain away from him, and realizing with him on top of her like this it was a losing proposition. Desperate, she brought her hand down for a moment. Reno's hands snatched at the bottle, but she lifted her arm, flinging the bottle across the room as best she could from her position. Reno's head lifted, following the bottle as it bounced across the floor until it struck the leg of the television stand. Tifa heard a crack and the tinkling of glass.
Reno froze for a moment, then looked down at her, his face contorting with rage.
"You stupid bitch!" he shouted.
His hand came up, then he brought it down to slap her across the face. Instinctively her own hand lifted to block the blow. Seeing this just infuriated him more, and he rained more blows down on her. She brought her other hand up, covering her face, and he could not get past her guard. The blows were hard, and stung her arms where they hit her, but none reached their intended target.
"Reno, please stop!" she pleaded.
And he did, it finally getting through to even his alcohol sodden brain that this attack was not effective. Instead he reached up and grabbed hold of her wrists, pushing them forward, slamming them to the ground above her head.
Her guard was gone now, but holding her wrists, he had no hand free with which to hit her. She was underneath him, his weight on top of her. Her hands were trapped by his. She was helpless and yet he found himself with no way to take advantage of the situation.
Or perhaps there was...
He brought his head down, his lips pressing against hers, forcing her head back until it was thrust painfully against the carpet. There was no tenderness in this kiss, no love. Instead, it was a kiss of domination, of control.
She resisted. She turned her head to the side, or tried to, but she could hardly move, and when she did, he just moved with her. She squirmed underneath him, trying to break free, but she couldn't use her arms anymore than he could, and she wasn't strong enough to twist herself out from under him. If she had been fighting an enemy she wouldn't have let herself get in this position to begin with, but Reno's lunging at her had taken her by surprise, and the only way she could have broken his hold on her would have been to hurt him, and she hadn't wanted to do that.
Tears stung her eyes now, and the smell of his breath on her face almost made her choke. He moved his body over her, rubbing against her. His head moved down, his lips kissing her fiercely, running down her cheek and onto her neck.
"Please, no," she moaned, choking at the taste of alcohol in her own mouth.
He wasn't listening, just continued to kiss her neck, suddenly biting her so hard she yelped in pain. His hand came down and grabbed hold of her breast through her blouse.
A moment later her own hand, finally free, came up and slapped him across the face.
"Stop it!" she yelled.
He flinched back at this unexpected attack, and with all her strength she managed to pull herself from underneath him. She turned, lifting herself on hands and knees, trying to spring up and away from him, but was suddenly grabbed from behind and pulled down again, slammed to the floor so savagely it left her breathless and in pain.
"What the fuck is wrong with you?" Reno roared at her.
He twisted her around, onto her back again, once more hitting her head on the floor. She should have been expecting it this time, should have been prepared, but the liquor gave him strength she didn't know he possessed. His hand reached out and grabbed hold of her collar. There was a ripping sound as he tore her blouse half off of her.
"Reno!" she screamed.
He didn't answer. Didn't even seem to hear. His lips once more pressed against hers, his hands roved over her body and her exposed stomach and chest freely. There was no warmth to his touch, no tenderness. He kissed her and touched her as one possessed.
The tears streamed down Tifa's eyes. She had long ago lost control of the situation and now she was nearly paralyzed with fear of what would happen next, what he would do to her. It seemed he had no intention of stopping. Her hands were free now. She could stop him herself, or try to. She didn't want to fight with him. She didn't want to see him get hurt and that's what it would take to get him off her, and she certainly didn't want to get hurt herself. In his state, he probably wouldn't feel much pain. If she hit him, would she get him off her or just enrage him more?
Would he kill her? Did he have that in him? She didn't think so, but... she just didn't know. Before she walked in the door she would have said never. She thought a bond had grown between them, but now, now she wasn't so sure. He was a killer after all, a vicious thug, and she had said to herself he would never change.
She didn't know what to do. She didn't want him to do this. Yes, they had made love before, but not like this. Please, not like this! Maybe she could stop him, maybe she couldn't, but she knew if she tried, one of them would get hurt, one of them might not even survive.
Slowly, almost without conscious thought, she felt all the fight ebbing out of her. Her hands, poised to strike, slowly fell above her head once more. She forced her body, taunt with tension, to sink to the carpet. She didn't want it to happen like this, but it seemed to her that surrendering to him was better than the alternative. At least no one would get hurt this way, and maybe, just maybe, having his way with her would take his mind off of drinking at least for a little while.
"Do what you want with me," she said softly, "but please... please... just don't drink anymore."
Reno barely noticed her sudden capitulation. Though she was no longer resisting he could tell she didn't want to do this and he was glad. He had warned her. He had told her to go away and she hadn't freakin' listened. Why didn't she ever freakin' listen? If only she listened for once, she wouldn't be in this position. Whatever happened to her now, it was her own fault.
His hands ran along her body, one hand slipping under her bra and pushing it up until it lay about her neck. She felt so good underneath him, so warm and soft, so yielding. He happened to glance up at her face and saw she was crying. She was in pain, he could tell. He liked that. He wanted her to feel pain, he wanted her to feel the pain that she gave him, gave him every time he looked at her. She deserved this, deserved this for putting this spell on him, for daring to make him fall in love with her, yet still, the soft sound of her sobs was annoying.
"Stop it," he growled.
She didn't respond, didn't even know what he was talking about.
His mouth covered hers again. Tifa felt as if she were going to throw up from the smell of the alcohol. His hands groped for her breasts. He wanted to hear her beg, beg for him to stop, but she wasn't begging, she was just lying there, lying there and crying. Why was she still keeping up that infernal crying?
"Would you stop with the damn crying already?" he snapped.
Again she did not respond. She barely heard him, was barely thinking at all. She had withdrawn inside herself, trying to imagine this wasn't really happening, trying to imagine she was somewhere far away.
His hand unsnapped her jeans and pulled down the zipper, then slid inside her pants. Still there was no response from her. She was just lying there, lying there like a dead thing. She didn't respond to his touch, didn't reciprocate at all, and when he looked in her eyes he saw a hopeless look, a look he'd never seen on her face before, and still he could hear her, crying softly. He wanted to hurt her and that was exactly what he was doing. He felt satisfied with that, yet at the same time something was rising inside him, something wrenching in his gut at the sound of her crying. Why didn't she fight him? Why didn't she fight back? Why was she just lying there, and why wouldn't she stop crying?
Slowly he felt his passion and his hate draining out of him. She wasn't going to fight. He had her right where he wanted her. He could do as he wished, yet he felt no triumph, only a hollow ache in his gut. No matter how drunk he had gotten, he had never in his life taken a woman against her will.
Slowly he lifted his head, his lips parting from hers. His hands stopped their groping. He wanted to hurt her, wanted to make her feel the way he did, but somehow, without lifting a finger to defend herself, she was thwarting him.
He pulled himself up, then suddenly slammed his fist down on the floor right beside her head, making her cringe.
"Damn you!"
He pulled himself to his feet and staggered over to the couch to collapse upon it once more. He turned away from her, curling up into a ball. He wanted to hurt her but he couldn't. He couldn't do it. He was a Turk, he wasn't supposed to feel emotion like this. He wasn't supposed to let someone get to him. The fact that he couldn't do that to her just reaffirmed in his mind how weak he had become.
"Damn you," he said again, barely audibly.
He fell silent. Tifa lay on the floor for a long time, not moving, hardly believing that he had stopped, waiting for her heartbeat to return to normal.
Eventually she lifted herself up to a sitting position. She pulled her bra back down into place and zipped up her jeans. Her blouse was torn, hanging in tatters and she couldn't do much about that. She looked at Reno but he didn't move, wasn't looking at her. She pulled herself to her feet, suppressing a groan at all the little aches and pains she felt as she stood. Though it could have been worse, he hadn't exactly been easy on her.
She walked over to the couch and picked up all the bottles. He did not protest this time. She poured out what was left in the sink then dropped the bottles in the trash. She noticed a piece of paper crumpled up on the floor beside the wastebasket and picked it up. Curious, she opened it up. Her eyes widened in surprise when she read it.
She turned to Reno once again.
"This is an eviction notice," she stated. "Is this why you're acting like this? Is this why you're drinking?"
For a moment she thought he wasn't going to reply.
"It's none of your business," he muttered.
"Yes it is!" she declared. "You're not alone, Reno. I'll help you."
He turned toward her suddenly.
"I don't want your fucking charity!"
She stood there, not knowing how to respond to that. It was typical Reno. Why, oh why did he have to be so damn pig headed?
"It's not charity to help a friend, Reno. That's what friends do!"
"I'm not going to take your gil!"
"Don't be an asshole!"
"Do you even have it?"
Again she paused. As a matter of fact, she didn't. Her bank account was drained from paying hospital bills for Karisa. It had been expensive, and had taken most everything she had, including the gil her friends at the Halo and Horns had given her. Her insurance was giving her a hard time about it, and hadn't paid out a single gil as of yet, so all the expenses had come out of her own pocket. She hoped to be reimbursed eventually but who knows how long it would take. Certainly longer than a week.
"How much do you have?" she asked.
He hesitated. He didn't really want to tell her, want to let her know just what dire straits he was in.
"About a hundred and fifty gil," he admitted.
"Reno..." she said slowly. She had no idea he had so little. He didn't have a job. How the hell was he planning on surviving?
"Forget about it," he said. "I'll handle it."
"How are you going to handle it?" she demanded. "You don't even have a job!"
"I'll think of something!"
"What about Rude?" she inquired. Surely he wasn't too proud to ask him.
"I haven't asked him, but he doesn't have it, not this much anyway," Reno replied. "He's been struggling too, though he has enough to get by. That's why he was looking for other work for us."
"It doesn't matter. We'll find a way," she told him. There had to be something they could do.
"Forget about it Tifa," he said bitterly. Rude had been right. Rude had been right all along. "Forget about me. I'm poison. The best thing you can do for yourself is walk out that door and never come back, never see me again. If you stay I'll just take you down with me. If you stay, I'll just end up hurting you."
She came forward and knelt down beside the couch, putting a hand on his shoulder.
"It doesn't have to be like that. You can stop this. You can change, anyone can, you just have to believe that you can do it."
He looked up into her eyes, still red from her crying, and yet her look was so open and honest that he almost had to turn away. How could she be like this? How could she have such hope, after all that had happened to her? How could she believe in him like that when he didn't even believe in himself?
He lifted a hand and ran it gently along her cheek. He wanted to do more, wanted to grab hold of her and hold her, hold her tight and never let her go, wanted to run his hands through her hair and hold her own hand in his. He couldn't do that. He wouldn't let himself. He shouldn't be touching her at all. He didn't deserve to.
"How can you be so naive after all you've been through?" he wondered, and turned away once more.
Again she had no reply.
"You should go," he told her.
"I'm not leaving," she replied, sitting down on the floor beside the couch. She didn't have to be to work for hours yet. He seemed to have calmed down now but she was deathly afraid if she walked out the door he would just start drinking again. She didn't know if he had anymore liquor in the place but it wouldn't surprise her if he did. Even if he didn't, she wouldn't put it past him to go out to find some more, even if he could barely stand. She had a feeling he would be less likely to look for a drink if she was here.
He didn't answer.
She wasn't sure why she was doing this. He had made it plain he didn't want her here, didn't believe what she was telling him. Still, she couldn't just abandon him. He was her friend now, there was no denying that. She no longer even questioned that, no matter how hard it was for her to believe, and in spite of what he had almost done just a short time ago. He had helped her before, he had saved Karisa's life, but it wasn't just because of that she was doing this. Yes, she did feel an obligation to him because of that, but it went deeper, she had to admit. Somehow, in spite of their differences, a genuine friendship had formed between them, if not more. The fact that he had stopped himself earlier proved that to her.
She didn't know what to say to him. What could she say that wouldn't sound lame coming from her lips? Things will somehow turn out all right? It will all work out? She knew he wouldn't believe that, it would just make her sound like a fool. Life didn't work that way, it was true, but even so, that didn't mean you couldn't try. Just because life sucked didn't mean your only choice was to give up. Get up or give up, wasn't that what he had said to her once?
"It's not that much money, Reno," she said. "We'll find a way to get it. Even if you don't, it's not the end of the world. Even if we don't get the gil, you can find another place to stay, you can find a job but you can't just give up. You can't hide from it. You can't stay drunk forever, even if you want to. Hiding from your troubles isn't going to solve them."
She fell silent. She was beginning to feel like she was lecturing him and she didn't want to do that, no matter how much she thought he deserved it. She knew him well enough by now to know that was the worst thing she could do, but she didn't know what else to say. What she was saying was true. He could help himself if he wanted to, but she had no idea how she could make him see that.
She turned to look at him but he wasn't facing her. She pulled herself to her feet, wondering if he had had anything to eat. Probably not, but he might not want anything just yet. On the rare occasions she had had too much to drink eating the next day was usually the last thing on her mind. Something non alcoholic to drink, however, might do him some good.
"Would you like me to make some tea?" she questioned.
He didn't answer her, and for a moment she thought he was ignoring her until she heard him snore. She leaned over so she could see his face, confirming that he was indeed asleep. Well, it was probably better that way anyway. She wasn't going to wake him up to make him tea, the sleep would probably do him more good.
She went into his bedroom. The bed was unslept in. She pulled the blanket off it and brought it back into the living room, placing it over him. He would probably be more comfortable in bed but she didn't want to disturb him.
She spent the rest of the day there, until she had to go to work. Reno slept almost the whole time, waking up occasionally and seemingly surprised to see her still there each time. He didn't say anything to her. Finally she had to leave. He was still sleeping. She decided not to wake him up, seeing how peaceful he looked. She considered calling work and telling them she couldn't make it, but she would feel bad doing that, seeing as how it was supposed to be her first day back. Reno seemed slightly more sober when he had woken up, and he hadn't shown any desire to drink. Hopefully he was over it. Besides, she couldn't stay here forever.
She stood up and walked over to get her coat. Good thing she had one, she thought, looking down at what was left of her blouse. She supposed she could find one of Reno's shirts to wear. Only fair since he was the one who had done this in the first place, but she knew she could get something once she got to work and it would probably be a lot more comfortable. As long as she had her coat to cover her, it didn't make much difference. She really had no desire to go rooting around in his drawers anyway.
She glanced over at Reno one more time when she reached the door, but he hadn't moved. She just hoped he wouldn't do anything stupid again.
She left the apartment, walking down the hallway toward the exit. Thankfully the two boys that had eyed her when she had come here were gone, and she was left in peace. Thankfully for them, she thought. She was in no mood to put up with anything.
It took a while to get to the Halo and Horns. Reno's apartment was pretty far away, but she made it without incident. She walked in the door and stopped, inhaling deeply the familar smells of cigarette smoke and bleach. Caraca was over by the dance floor, mopping. Tifa could see Delphine behind the bar. The younger woman looked up, spotting Tifa and her eyes lit up.
"Tifa!"
She practically jumped over the bar, running to her friend and wrapping her in a hug.
"I'm so glad you're back!" she exclaimed.
Tifa smiled, a bit embarrassed by Delphine's exuberance. Tifa had called two days ago to let them know she would be back to work. Delphine had been the one that answered the phone and of course had wanted to know all that had happened. Tifa had hesitated, not sure what to tell her. She suspected that the fewer people who knew what they had done the better, but what could she say? Karisa was cured, there was no way she could hide that from the people at work. Everyone knew the disease was incurable, so the first thing Delphine had wanted to know, of course, was how this had happened. Tifa had tried to fend off her questions, but she wasn't very good at that sort of thing, nor at making up lies. She thought perhaps she should have talked to Reno about this before she had called. If anyone could come up with a plausible lie it would be him, but of course, by then it was too late. Having no other viable option, she had settled on just telling the truth. And of course if Delphine knew, so would everyone in the place. Delphine was a good friend, but she wasn't known for being able to keep her mouth shut. Besides, the others had to know anyway. So, for better or worse, everyone knew. She didn't think anyone here would purposely betray her, but there was bound to be talk. She just had to hope none of it reached Psi Co ears.
Tifa looked up and saw that Caraca had come over as well, and he gave her a hug as soon as Delphine relinquished her.
"It's so good to have you back," he said.
Tifa nodded.
"It's nice to see you all again."
She hadn't realized how much she had missed them.
She walked with Delphine over to the bar while Caraca went back to his mopping.
"Is Bernard in his office?" Tifa questioned.
"Uh huh," Delphine replied. "You need to talk to him?"
"Yeah, but, umm... first, can you do me a favor?"
"What?"
"Go in the back and get me a blouse?"
She knew there were plenty of clothes back there for the girls costumes. The girls who danced knew the wardrobe room a lot better than she did. She figured Delphine would be able to find her something a lot quicker than she could find it herself.
"I guess, but, why would you need one?"
Tifa unbuttoned her coat, making sure her back was to Caraca, and opened it up to reveal the remains of her own blouse.
Delphine's mouth fell open.
"My God Tifa, what happened?"
"It's... it's nothing."
"Nothing? Tifa that sure as hell ain't nothing."
"It was... an accident."
She could see that Delphine saw right through that.
"Tifa..."
"All right. My..." Boyfriend? Lover? "Friend, Reno, he..." Abused me? Almost raped me? "Got drunk. He... he got a little rough."
Dephine's hand came up to her mouth.
"Tifa, are you all right?"
Tifa nodded.
"Yes, yes, I'm fine," she reassured her friend, though she wasn't so sure of the truth of that statement.
"Did you kick his ass?" Delphine questioned.
"I really... don't want to talk about it right now. Can you just find me a blouse?"
"Sure. Sure. There's a nice see thru number back there that'll..."
"Delphine!"
"Sorry, just kidding!" Delphine replied, grinning.
Delphine scurried into the back room, emerging a short time later with a white blouse that, though a bit revealing, was not see thru.
"Thanks," Tifa said. She took the blouse and walked into the bathroom. She removed her coat and her old blouse and put the borrowed one on, then walked back out onto the floor to hang up her coat. She went into the back and entered Bernard's office. He looked up and smiled when she entered.
"I could hardly believe my ears when you told me that Karisa was okay and that you'd be back," he said. He got up from his seat and walked over to her, giving her a hug and a kiss on the cheek. "I've been going batty here without you Tifa," he continued as he walked back to his desk and sat down again. "Caraca's good but he can't handle the place all by himself. None of the other girls have any talent at all when it comes to tending bar. You wouldn't believe all the disasters I've had to deal with since you've been away. I almost went out and hired another person just to tend bar, but you never know who you're going to get when you do that either, and on short notice they know they'd got you by the balls so they're always asking for outrageous salaries. I still can't believe you're here, or that Karisa is all better. She is all better, right?"
She could understand if he seemed a bit skeptical. They'd all heard about Meteor Fever and what it could do.
"Yes, yes she is," Tifa replied.
Bernand shook his head.
"Leave it up to you to come up with something like that," he said. "Guess that hero label really does apply."
Tifa just blushed. She had never been all that comfortable being thought of that way. She had only tried to do what was right, what she thought anyone would have done.
"Bernard, I... I need a favor."
Her boss looked at her attentively.
"What is it?"
She didn't know quite how to say it. Just straight out, she supposed.
"I... I need some gil. For a friend who's in trouble."
Bernard's thumb and forefinger came up to his chin.
"How much?"
"I'm not sure," she replied. "About five hundred?"
"How soon do you need it?"
"By... next week?"
He looked down at his desk, thumping his fingers on it for a moment. Finally he looked up at her again.
"You know I'd give it to you if I had it Tifa," he said. "Business hasn't been all that good lately. They opened up a new club down the road and that's siphoned away a lot of our customers. I'm hoping they'll come back but right now... it's tough. I'm going to be hard pressed this month just to pay the overhead on this place and everyone's salary. I'm sorry, but I just don't have it."
Tifa nodded. It was what she had feared. Bernard and her friends had already tapped themselves out by giving her gil when Karisa was sick. Asking for more seemed almost too much to ask. Bernard had already been more than generous with her.
"It's all right," she said. "I understand."
She looked at him for a moment more, and he really did look sympathetic.
"Don't worry," she said, feeling the need to reassure him for some reason. "I'll find some other way."
She turned and walked toward the door.
"Tifa, wait," he spoke up before she could open it. She spun around to face him again. He just stood there looking at her for a moment, until she frowned, wondering if he was going to say more.
"There may be a way for you to help yourself," he finally spoke up.
She didn't reply, just stood there waiting for him to continue.
"More people coming in means more revenue all around," Bernard said. "It's not that easy to get the people in here though. In order to do that we need a draw, some kind of hook. Something that will get their attention."
Tifa swallowed slowly, seeing the look he was giving her and beginning to understand what he was saying.
"You want me to dance," she said slowly.
"It's up to you, Tifa," he replied. "I'm not going to force you to do anything. I've told you before what a draw it would be to have your name up on that marquee out there. My offer still stands. With the money we'd take in I'm sure I could pay you that much, perhaps even more, in addition to what you'd make in tips. You might even be able to get the amount you need in one night."
She wanted to tell him no. She wanted to reject the offer right out but... it could work. She wasn't sure what kind of a draw she would be, but she had to admit after the whole Shinra thing she was well known. If there was no other way to get the money...
"I... I don't know," she stammered. "I'll have to think about it."
"Of course," he replied. "Like I said, I don't want to force you into anything. There's no pressure here. The choice is yours."
She nodded.
"Thank you," she said, not knowing what else to say. Then she turned and walked out the door.
Delphine said something to her when she returned to the bar, but Tifa's mind was on other things and she did not reply. It turned out to be a busy night. Unusual for a week night, but it did happened sometimes. For obvious reasons, Tifa's mind was not on her work. She made several mistakes, and ended up with a few angry customers when she mixed them the wrong drink. Correcting the mistake and adding a drink on the house made amends, however. It was something that almost never happened to her ordinarily however, and she wasn't sure what to say when Caraca came up to her later that night and asked her what was wrong. She didn't want to tell him about her talk with Bernard, that was for sure. She didn't want anyone to know what she was contemplating, at least, not yet, not until she had made a decision. She told him instead that she was just a little rusty, having been out of work for so long, and he accepted that.
Around eleven at night the place was jammed. Tifa had gotten back in the swing of things by then, having pushed her little conversation with her boss to the back of her mind, and once more was handing out drinks fast and accurately, a sea of faces passing before her. After handing a man a pina colada she glanced at the crowd behind him and stopped in her tracks.
A face had appeared in the crowd, only for a moment, but she had recognized it, or thought she did.
The pale man. The one who Reno said had stolen her key, had broken into her apartment. She hadn't seen him since the day Reno had told her what had happened. After all this time, she hadn't expected to see him again.
Or had she? Thinking about it she wasn't so sure. Maybe it was just someone who had looked like him. She craned her neck, looking over the crowd, but he was gone. She had only seen him for an instant.
The sound of someone tapping an empty glass on the table brought her back to the task at hand. Already people were lining up for more drinks. She was falling behind.
She took the glass the man was tapping and he told her what he wanted. She went back to work. She didn't have time to look around right now. If he was here he was here and if he wasn't, then he wasn't. She had changed her lock and now kept her pocketbook in a more secure location. She had enough on her mind not to worry about him. Compared to Psi Co, he seemed harmless.
It slowed down shortly after that, and by midnight the place was almost deserted. People might come down but they usually didn't stay late on weekdays, most of them having to work the next day. Tifa had plenty of time to restock and clean up before closing time came. She also had plenty of time to think.
Right before closing she walked into Bernard's office again. They didn't have the gil, and she could think of no other way to get it, no other way that didn't entail even worse problems. She had never wanted to dance, didn't even know if she could, but it that's what it took to get the money...
She stood there, right by the door. Bernard looked at her, waiting patiently for her to say something.
"I..."
And that was all that seemed to want to come out. It wasn't any big deal, she told herself. All her friends here did it. So why was it so hard to say this, why did her tongue seem to tie in knots at the words.
Steeling herself, she spoke again.
"I'll do it."
Bernared looked at her for just a moment.
"Great," he said finally. "I'll pencil you in for tomorrow at..."
"No!"
He looked at her.
"No, not tomorrow. That's... that's too soon," she stammered. She couldn't do it tomorrow. She needed time. Needed time to adjust to this.
"The sooner you get it done the sooner it's over with and you get your gil," Bernard pointed out.
"I know. I know," she replied. "It's just that... well... I need more time to... get used to the idea."
He thought about that for a moment.
"Very well. How about Friday night then? It's probably better that way anyway. It'll give us more time to advertise and we'll probably get a bigger crowd on a weekend. It'll give you some time to rehearse too. I should have thought of that. I'm not used to girls having never done this before."
She didn't answer. Even Friday seemed too soon to her, but then again, she knew that any day was going to seem too soon to her. She had to bite the bullet here somewhere.
"All right," she agreed. "Friday it is."