CHAPTER VII
TIME TRAVAILS
The wind howled. It swirled around Cloud as he made his way up the steep slope. The rocks were ice cold to the touch, as well as jagged. His hands were already covered with scratches and so cold he could barely feel them. He had little protection from the freezing weather. He had no winter cloths. If he had thought about it, he would have been worried that the numbness in his limbs would soon lead to frostbite. If he had thought about it, he probably would have had second thoughts about tackling the Gaea cliffs in this kind of weather.
But he hadn't thought about it. He struggled onward, ignoring the cold. In a way the numbness was a relief. He didn't want to feel anything anymore. He didn't want to think about anything. He had only one purpose, to get over the Gaea cliffs, to find Sephiroth.
But even so, even with the mindnumbing cold, even with the distance he had covered, the questions still plagued his mind, questions he couldn't make go away, no matter how hard he tried. He didn't understand what had happened at the City of the Ancients. Someone had died, someone who had looked just like him. Someone had sacrified their life to save Aeris. Had it been some kind of clone?
What other explanation was there?
Hojo had tried many times to make someone like Sephiroth before he had finally succeeded. All those men with the tatoos, all those imitations. Had there been some of him as well? Did that mean that there were more? Were there other Cloud's beside the one he had just seen? Were there other imitations of him as well, and if that were true, how did he know he wasn't one of the imitations?
Could what Sephiroth have told him really be true? Could he just be a Jenova filled puppet? Could his whole life, everything he remembered, everything that made him what he is, all be a lie?
He pulled himself up over the rocks to find himself standing suddenly in front of the dark entrance to a cave. He stoppped for a moment, turning to look back the way he had come. He couldn't see much in the gathering darkness. A light snowfall further obstructed his view. Occasionally through the softly falling snow he could make out the glimmer of a light below, a light he assumed marked the location of Mr. Holozoff's cabin. It was far below him. It had taken him almost all day to get to this point. The path up the cliff was hard to follow, with many twists and turns, false trails and dead ends. But somehow Cloud always selected the correct direction. Somehow he could tell which way Sephiorth had gone. There was some kind of connection between them. Something else he didn't understand.
Cloud stepped into the cave, hardly noticing the relief it brought from the bitter wind. He sat down on a rough edged boulder. Even in his present state he kenw he was close to exhaustion. He couldn't go on without rest.
Somewhere his friends were following. He was sure of that as well. He knew they wouldn't just abandon him or the chase, even thought he wished they would. It had been a mistake, he realized now. I had been a mistake to involve them in this. Aeris had nearly died, had come so close to death he still shivered at the thought of it. He didn't want that to happen to any of his friends. He didn't want them to get hurt.
If there was a way he could make them turn around, he would. But he knew them too well for that. He knew they would follow. He knew they'd go on even if he told them he didn't want them to, even if he told them to go back. He admired them for it, but it also made him that much more sure they were better off left behind.
He pulled himself to his feet. He didn't know how far behind him they were. He didn't want them to catch up. He knew if they did, he wouldn't be able to leave them behind again.
He stepped back out on the slope, gritting his teeth as the cold wind swept around him again. He was close to the top. He could feel it. Not much farther to go, and somewhere on the other side Sephiroth was waiting. He didn't have time to rest if he wanted to get to Sephiroth before the others. This was between the two of them. He realized that now. The others would just be a burden to him, just another reason to worry. Aeris had almost died, he didn't want to risk his friends lives anymore. He knew what he had to do now. He had to go on and face Sephiroth...alone.
Aeris nodded, though she did not lift her head. She was lying and she knew he knew it. Her face was flushed, her breathing irregular. She felt queasy, as if she were about to throw up. She lifted her arm and wiped the sweat from her forehead and saw her hands were trembling. She felt as if she were burning up inside.
She could feel Vincent's eyes boring into her.
She glanced up to see he was indeed staring at her, an openly skeptical look on his face.
She looked around for a moment, then eased herself down on a large rock that stood beside the trail they were on. There was no sense in trying to fool Vincent.
"It's the lifestream," she said slowly. "It's in turmoil. I feel it. Something is very wrong, and it's not just because Sephiroth wants to summon meteor..."
Her voice faded into silence. She had tried to finish this, had prayed to holy, so that they could all be saved. She had known it was dangerous, had known that it could very well mean her death, but she had been willing to pay that price. She had been content knowing that by her sacrifice she could save others, that she could save her friends.
But it had all gone wrong. Vincent had explained to her that Cloud and the others had come back to save her, that she had in fact been destined to die. It hadn't happened. They had changed history, or at least that was how Vincent explained it. She wasn't sure she understood all that he said. All she knew was that someone else had died in her stead, someone that had not been fated to die.
"Cloud has died in my place," she said slowly. She heard her voice falter. She couldn't get the sight of Sephiroth's sword passing through him out of her head. She had been so resigned to the possibility of her own death, but she had not expected this. She felt tears forming in her eyes. She took a deep breath and fought to gain a hold of herself. She wanted to fling herself to the ground and cry until no more tears could be wrung from her, but this was not the time. There was just too much that needed her attention, too many things that were too important to put off. She had to be strong. She could mourn later.
"But it wasn't supposed to happen that way," she continued. "Somehow it has caused confusion if the lifestream. Everything is in upheavel. I can feel it. I've never felt anything like it before."
Vincent strode over and sat down beside her, almost as if he wished to comfort her. If it were anyone else she would have expected a reassuring hand on her arm or shoulder, but he did not touch her.
"So what does this mean?" he questioned.
Aeris slowly shook her head.
"I don't know," she replied. "I don't know what we've set in motion. I don't know what kind of damage has been done, if any, or if it can be recovered from. I suspect nothing like this has ever happened before. It may just take a period of adjustment and then the lifestream will calm down again. Or we may have set something in motion that..."
Again she fell silent.
"That what?" Vincent prodded her. He could tell whatever she was thinking was deeply disturbing her.
"I don't know," she repeated. "Maybe nothing..and maybe, a lot.
Vincent eyed her calmly for a moment.
"Worse case?"
Aeris hesitated.
"Worse case," she said slowly, as if to herself. "The worst case is that my survival has torn a hole in the lifestream, a hole whose edges will continue to tear, growing larger and larger, until it eventually rips the entire lifestream apart, and with it, the planet itself."
Vincent's eyes flashed for a moment. It was the only sign of emotion that showed on his chiseled features.
"I have to admit, that's a pretty serious worst case," he said slowly.
Aeris nodded in agreement with Vincent's understatement.
"What are the odds of it?" he inquired.
"I have no idea," Aeris replied. "Perhaps Bugenhagen would know, but I don't."
Or Ifalna, Aeris thought. How she wished for her mother's counsel. She called out silently, but the lifestream was fragmented. She could not understand any of the voices she heard. She could not get through to her mother, now when she needed her most.
"So what do we do?" Vincent questioned.
Aeris shrugged.
"My plan was to stop Sephiroth," she said. "It hasn't changed. Cloud's after him, as well as the others. They've got quite a head start on us by now. I'm afraid I don't have the strength to catch up with them. But somehow we must. We must get to Sephiroth before Cloud does."
Vincent turned away, staring ahead at the Gaea cliffs that loomed in the distance.
"As the Chaos beast I can carry you over the cliffs," he stated. "Though I don't know how quickly I can do it. The beast is strong, but I've never tried to carry a person for an extended period of time. We probably will have to stop many times, but it will still be faster than walking.
Aeris followed his gaze toward the mountains in front of them. Vincent was right, it would be a difficult task. Not only because of the distance, but the weather as well. It would be bitterly cold up there. Flying they would not even be afforded what little protection there was on the slopes of the cliff. They would be completely exposed to the elements. They did not even have time to stop to find suitable clothing. They would have to go as is. It seemed incredibly foolish to even attempt it, and she hesitated to expose Vincent to such danger, btu there was no other way.
"Thank you," she said.
Vincent did not reply, just stood up and looked at her expentantly. Just like Vincent. Once he had made up his mind there seemed little point to him in hesitating. Aeris wearily pulled herself to her feet beside him.
Vincent glanced at the cliffs in front of them once more, then turned to her again.
"If it does come to worst case," he said. "Is there anything we can do to prevent it?"
Aeris did not reply for a long time.
"I'm not sure," she said finally, hesitantly. "Once the tear appears, it may be impossible to prevent things from getting worse. There's only one thing I can think of that might mend what has happened, and that is for me to fulfill my destiny."
Vincent's eyes widened at her words, but his features remained impassive.
"You all came back with the intention to save me," Aeris continued. "To right what had gone wrong. But you didn't think that that was the way it was meant to be. Perhaps no matter how hard we try, we can't change what must be. Perhaps it is inevitable that I must die."
But it wasn't a dream. Cloud was dead. He had died in Aeris place. True, the Cloud from the past was still alive, but he was doomed. She felt tears stinging her eyes, and turned away so that Rufus wouldn't see. She told herself she couldn't do this now, she berated herself for being weak, but she could not get the tears to stop.
Cloud was dead, and she had blamed Aeris, had said those harsh words in front of the others. She regretted it now. She knew, deep down inside, that it wasn't Aeris fault. Cloud had done what he had to do, what he would have done for any of them. If she was going to blame anyone, she should blame Sephiroth. It was his sword that had done...
She almost sobbed aloud. She had to stop this! She had to pull herself together. She couldn't think about that right now or she would fall apart completely. She couldn't do that, not here, not in front of Rufus.
"We don't have to be enemies, you know," Rufus said conversationally. "We're both after the same thing."
Tifa did not reply for a moment, still stuggling to get a hold of herself. Eventually, she composed herself enough that she thought she could talk in a reasonably normal manner.
"What do you mean?" she asked softly.
"I mean, we both want to stop Sephiroth," he replied. "Isn't that what you and your little friends in Avalanche are trying to do?"
Tifa felt like she shouldn't even be talking to this man. Again she wondered why she had agreed to go with him. He was their enemy. He was the one who had ordered her execution, or would order her execution. That hadn't happened yet for these people. Sometimes it was all very confusing.
"Yes," she found herself replying.
"So, then we should work together," Rufus said hospitably. "It's foolish to fight one another when at the same time we're fighting Sephiroth. United we stand a much better chance against him."
Tifa was only half listening. She knew she couldn't trust Rufus. She knew for a fact he was just as ruthless, if not more so, than his old man had been. But she also knew for a fact that what he was saying was true. He really was trying to stop Sephiroth. Perhaps that and the fact that she had knowledge of future events was something she could use to her own advantage.
Now that Cloud was gone she didn't know what was going to happen. She hadn't really thought about it at all. But life went on, Sephiroth was still out there, and had to be stopped, stopped before he could call meteor and destroy the world. Even now, after all that had occured, she couldn't just stand by and let it happen.
"So what do you say?" she heard him say. She relaized he was waiting for her to answer.
"I'm coming with you, aren't I?" she replied.
Rufus hesitated just a moment, then nodded his head, the smile widening on his face. She could picture the wheels turning in his head, just imagine him already conjuring up ways he could benefit from this. He carried his shotgun easily at his side, almost nochalantly. He obviously didn't think that she was any threat to him at all. Perhaps that was another mistake on his part.
Barret grumbled low in his throat, but Red turned toward her with a thoughtful expression.
"I'm afraid so," he admitted. He looked around. They stood in front of one of the numerous shallow caves that pockmarked this region of the Gaea cliffs. All around them the cliff face glittered with freshly fallen snow.
"How could we be lost?" Cid blurted out. "If that nose of yours can't figure out which way the others went, then what good is it? And besides, we came through here once before, as our past selves. Don't you remember which way we went?"
"Don't you?" Yuffie questioned immediately. "You would think a pilot would have a good sense of direction."
"If we were in a plane we'd be there in no time," Cid snapped. "My sense of direction ain't as good on the ground."
"That doesn't make any sense," Yuffie stated.
"It doesn't make any sense to you because you don't have any sense to begin with," Cid snapped. "What about you? Don't you know where we are? You'e a ninja, aren't they suposed to know where they're going?"
"Being a ninja has nothing to do with having a sense of direction," Yuffie replied testily.
"Good thing," Cait commented quickly.
Yuffie looked daggers at him.
"It was a long time ago we came up the cliffs," Red said seriously "There were many false directions and dead end paths. It would be difficult for any of us to remember. As for my nose, I'm afraid any scent left behind by the others is quickly obscured by the snow or blown away by the wind. I'm afraid we're on our own."
"And meanwhile the others get farther and farther ahead," Cid commented.
"Yes, that is true," Red agreed.
"Well, no sense standin' around here," Barret said practically. "We just better find the trail as quickly as possible. There's nothing else we can do."
"My feet hurt and I'm freezing," Yuffie said. "Can't we rest for a little while?"
Barret snorted and seemed ready to rebuke her yet again, but first he looked at the others.
"We're just going to fall farther behind," he said.
"I don't suppose stopping here for a few minutes would do any harm, or lose us much more time." Red replied. "The others have to rest too,"
"Yeah," Cait said. "Remember, they've got a Yuffie with them as well."
"What's that supposed to mean?" the young ninja demanded.
Cait did not reply. They all followed Red into the cave. It did not go very far, perhaps twenty yards before ending in a tumbled pile of crumbled rocks. Still, it was out of the wind.
Yuffie threw herself down against the wall, stretching out her feet in front of her. Cid and Red sat down more slowly. Barret and Cait remained standing, Barret not far from the entrance, as if anxious to be on his way.
Yuffie pulled her pack off her back.
"Might as well have something to eat while we're at it," she stated.
No one replied, but Cid shrugged and pulled off his pack as well. Red watched them as they ate. He wasn't hungry himself. In fact, he was inclined to agree with Barret. He was anxious to move on as quickly as possible.
"So what happens now?" Yuffie said, looking up from her meal.
"What do you mean?" Cid questioned.
"You know what I mean," she said. "You all saw what happened. We saved Aeris. We did it. But now Cloud..."
She looked down at the ground.
"You saw what happened. What do we do now? How can we fix that?"
No one replied. After a moment Yuffie looked up, a pleading look in he eyes.
"We can fix that...can't we?"
The lack of an answer spoke volumes. Yuffie looked around but no one would meet her gaze.
"You mean we can’t do anything?" she said slowly. "Cloud’s gone..."
Still no one spoke. Red looked up to see that all eyes had turned to him.
"I don’t know," he said at last. "I don’t see that there's anything we can do to change what happened."
He fell silent.
"Unless we can go back into the past again," Yuffie suggested.
"And how do you propose we do that?" Barret questioned. "We don’t even know how we got back here in the first place."
"The lifestream did it, somehow," Cait stated. "Maybe we can do it again."
"That seems like grasping at straws to me," Cid said bluntly. "We can’t recreate that. It happened out of pure luck."
"So what do you suggest we do?" Yuffie questioned.
Cid made no answer to that.
"Well, what if we prevent our past selves from going back in the first place?" Yuffie questioned.
"Huh?" Barret said.
"Look, it’s very simple," Yuffie explained. "We know that after the battle with Sephiroth the lifestream wells up and sends the Highwind back in time. Well, maybe we can prevent our past selves from getting caught up in the lifestream. Then all this wouldn’t happen."
Barret just looked at her, the expression on his face making it apparent he had no idea what she was talking about.
"That might save Cloud," Cid said, "but if we prevent our past selves from going up in the Highwind, then they won’t ba able to go into the past and save Aeris. What would happen to her then?"
Barret looked at the two of them and shook his head.
"Now I'm really confused," he muttered
"Am I right Red?" Cid asked, looking at the fire red beast. "Wouldn’t that mean we couldn’t save Aeris?"
"I’m afraid it’s even more complicated than that," Red replied. "If we prevent our past selves from going up in the Highwind then we will never have gone into the past. If we don’t go into the past we won’t be here to stop ‘ourselves’ from getting on the Highwind in the first place."
"This is givin' me a headache," Barrett grumbled.
"I admit it is a bit hard to grasp," Red replid. "It's the old grandfather paradox."
"The what?" Yuffie questioned.
"The grandfather paradox," Red repeated. "If you go into the past and shoot your grandfather, that would mean that you were never born. But if you were never born you couldn't go into the past and shoot your grandfather. But if you didn't shoot him then you would be born, in which case you could go back and shoot him. It's an endless loop."
"I think I understand," Cid said thoughfully. "So how does that get resolved?"
Red shrugged.
"No one knows. It depends on the nature of time. Some people believe that the past is immutable, that you couldn't change it even if you tried, that if you went into the past and tried to kill your grandfather you would be prevented from doing it somehow."
"How?" Yuffie questioned.
"I haven't the slightest idea," Red replied rather curtly. "It's all just been theory up to now. But we know that theory's not true. We've changed the past. We've saved Aeris. I was kind of wondering if we going to be able to do that. But that still doesn't let us off the hook. Another theory is that if we do manage to change something, that change will be corrected at a later date. It's possible that if Sephiroth did not kill her at the City of the Ancients it could still happen at another time. If she's fated to die, there may be nothing we can do about it."
None of the others looked pleased with this possibility.
"You mean Cloud could have died for nothing?" Yuffie questioned. "And Aeris could still die again anyway?"
"That's a possibility," Red stated. "Of course, she could just as easliy die just out of bad luck. There's just no telling. That's why I'm so concerned that she ran off with Vincent. I'd much rather have her here so we could keep an eye on her."
"Well, I'm afraid there's not much we can do about that," Cid said.
"I know," Red replied. "I've also heard theories that you couldn't meet yourself in the past, that it would cause some monsterous cataclysm in time, possibly leading to the destruction of the universe."
Barret looked at him nervously.
"Thanks for telling us that now!" he blurted out.
"I didn't think it would actually happen," Red said. "But I do find it strange that we ran into our past selves now and yet it didn't happen when we were here originally."
Barret no longer appeared to be listening, but the others were trying very hard to digest what Red was telling them.
"Yeah, now that you mention it, that does seem kinda strange," Cid said. "Why didn't we run into our future selves the first time. If we saved Aeris, how come I remember her dying?"
"All good questions," Red agreed. "And it all leads us to yet another theory about time, and that is that it impossible to travel into the past."
"Another one that we've proven wrong," Yuffie said.
"Have we?" Red questioned. "Not so fast. Is this really the past?"
They all looked lost now.
"What do you mean?" Cid asked. "What else could it be?"
"Some people believe that there are other dimensions, other worlds just like ours. They believe that when you try to travel into the past you won't go into the past, but sideways into another dimension, a dimension very similar to our own, but slightly different."
"That sounds even weirder than time travel," Cid muttered.
"Perhaps," Red stated. "But it solves a lot of the problems. We didn't meet ourselves the first time because that happened on another world, in another dimension. The 'past us' that we see here aren't really us at all, but a copy of us in this other dimension. This solves the grandfather paradox. If you went back and shot your grandfather you would still exist, because the grandfather you shot wasn't the granfather you were desended from, but the one your copy was descended from in this dimension. If that's true, then what happened to us in the future never really happened here at all. We've wiped the slate clean, and anything can happen from here on in."
"So if we went back in time again, we'd slip into another world," Cid said slowly.
"Yes," Red replied. "There would have to be an infinite number of them. That's one of the drawbacks of this theory. People are not very comfortable with the idea of infinity."
"So how do we know what's true and what's not?" Yuffie wanted to know. "I'm afraid I'm going to have to agree with Barret on this one. This is all making my head hurt."
"I'm araid there's no way to tell for sure," Red replied. "Like I said, these are all theories, and for all we know, all of them could be wrong. No one has ever actually done this before."
"And lived to tell about it," Barret added grimly. In spite of his apparent unconcern, it appeared he was listening after all.
"There would be that, yes," Red agreed.
"You know, I don't understand any of this," Cid said. "And to tell you the truth, I don't really care. Whether this is our past or another dimension, I don't see that it makes much of a difference. What I want to know is, what do we do now?"
Red was silent for a moment. Cid was right, the nature of their predicament didn't matter. What was important was what they were going to do from here. They had to have some kind of plan of action.
"Sephiroth is still out there," Red said. "He's still a danger. If he calls meteor, it won't matter what planet we're on, it's still going to be destroyed. Vincent, Aeris and all the others from the past are still pursuing him. Our immediate goal should be to prevent Sephiroth from destroying the world. If we like, we can debate the meaning of it all after that's been accomplished."
"And what about Tifa?" Barret asked. "We don't even know where she ran off to."
"I know," Red replied. "Sadly we don't have time to go hunt for her. She's perfectly capable of taking care of herself, though I am concerned about her state of mind. I think we all know how she feels about Cloud. But we're just going to have to assume that she's pulled herself together and is following Sephiroth as well."
"Sounds like a plan to me," Cid said impatiently.
"And what about Cloud?" Cait spoke up. "Do any of these time theories give us a chance to save him while still keeping Aeris alive?"
Red thought for a moment, then shook his head.
"I have no way of knowing."