Tifa sat up with a jolt, looking around, not realizing at first where she was. After a moment she realized she had fallen asleep. It wasn't that hard a thing for her to do, she hadn't gotten much sleep lately, probably because she had been so worried about Karisa. She stood up unsteadily. She had heard a knock at the door. That was what had awoken her. Had Brent come back?
That was a stupid thought, she realized, remembering what had happened. After that he would never come back. Who could it be then?
Before she had any more time to ponder this the door opened and Reno stepped in.
"Tifa! They have a cu.." he started, then stopped abruptly when he saw her standing in front of her couch, wearing nothing but a t shirt that almost but didn't quite completely cover her underwear.
She froze as well, realizing that, being the idiot she was, she had never locked the door after Brent left. For a moment she felt both shocked and deeply embarrassed, but his words made both those feelings fade almost instantly. Had she heard what she thought she had heard?
"A cure?" she said.
She felt a strong urge, first to scream at him, then to run into the other room, to go put something on, but the damage had been done. He'd already seen what there was to see and was it really that big a deal? It didn't matter anyway, none of that mattered. She needed to hear what he had to say, and she needed to hear it now. A cure. He was about to say a cure. She was sure of it.
He stood there for a moment, as if he too expected her to do something about her lack of apparel, but when she didn't move he continued.
"Psi Co. They have a cure for Meteor Fever. They've been hiding it, only giving to people who they could trust, and who could pay ridiculous amounts of gil for it."
She remained motionless, just looking at him.
"How do you know this?" she asked eventually.
"Brent told me."
"Brent..."
Any other words she might have said died in her throat as a mixture of emotions rose up in her all at once, anger at Reno for obviously not trusting her to get the truth herself. Stupid really since he had been absolutely right. Yes, even after the way Brent had treated her, some concern over exactly how Reno had obtained this information, but most of all, hope.
She slowly sank back down on the couch, pulling her legs up underneath herself and tugging at the end of her shirt so it covered her. Folding her hands in her lap so it stayed that way.
"What did you do to him?" she asked.
Reno stood there for a moment like he hadn't heard, just looking at her. At her legs, she realized, which just made her more uncomfortable. Again she thought it might be best to go in the other room and put something on, but she wanted to hear this and she didn't want to wait.
"Why don't you sit down?" she suggested.
Without a word he slowly walked over and eased himself down on the couch beside her, still not taking his eyes off her. He realized he was staring, he realized she must be aware of it, but for some reason he just couldn't help himself. She had such gorgeous legs.
With great effort, he struggled to get his mind back on the topic at hand.
"Do you really care?"
Tifa pondered that for quite some time. Did she? She honestly couldn't say. She supposed it would all depend on what Reno had to tell her.
"What happened?"
"Psi Co. has a cure. They only give it to people they can trust and who can pay a ridiculous amount of gil for it. That's what happened with Jonathan. Brent paid to have him cured and then Psi Co. covered up the fact that he had ever had Meteor Fever at all. They removed all the records of him ever being in the hospital, or so they thought. Someone screwed up though and they forgot to delete the fact that he had been in the hospital in the first place. Psi Co is using the disease as a diversion to keep people minds on things other than questioning the company."
Tifa didn't say anything, but she felt a stabbing in her gut at realizing just how much Brent had lied to her. She'd known he'd been holding back something and now she knew it was true. There was a cure and he knew about it. He had had the ability to save Karisa all along, and he had kept silent. All to keep his gil. He would have let Karisa die just to save his goddam money. He had told her, said it right to her face, that he would do whatever he could to help Karisa. He would have just let her die...
"That son of a bitch," she whispered.
Even if he wanted to save his damn money, he still could have told her. He could have given her some hope. He could have said he couldn't afford to pay, or that he didn't want to pay. She wouldn't have thought much of him but it might have given her a chance. At least she would have known.
She felt tears running down her cheeks again. Damn. She didn't want to cry. She'd been doing too much of that lately. She was so damn weak...
The truth was, Tifa realized, that that little voice in the back of her head had been telling her for quite some time now that her relationship with Brent had been deteriorating, that he didn't feel for her quite the same way she felt for him. She had never been sure exactly what Brent was after, but she had been certain that a lasting relationship with her had not been high on his list of priorities. She had ignored the warning bells, had ignored the little voice for a number of reasons. The fact that she wasn't looking for a lifelong relationship herself had certainly played a part in it, but it was more than that. She had never delved into his past, never asked him questions about Sarah. He had often been away on business, and sometimes she had been suspicious of that, but she had never questioned him about it. She told herself that Sarah was in his past, and she wasn't interested in his past but the truth was she hadn't asked because she had been afraid, afraid of what she might find out, afraid that her suspicions were correct. She had hid her head in the sand, because she just hadn't wanted to know the truth.
She'd been out with a few other men between the time Cloud had left and she had met Brent. None serious. She hadn't wanted it to be. Looking back on it, she realized Reno had been right. She hadn't given anyone a chance since Cloud. It all went back to her spiky haired ex-Soldier who, it turned out, hadn't been an ex-Soldier at all. She had been so in love with him. She had never... yearned for anyone the way she had for him, had never felt that euphoric sense of bliss just to be in someone's company. Would she ever feel that again? With anyone? If he came back, would she still feel that way with him, or had what happened shorn that from her, taken that away, leaving her empty and aching and hollow for... the rest of her life?
Cloud hadn't just stolen her heart, when he left, he'd also taken her self confidence, her optimism, her love of life, but most of all, he'd taken her ability to trust. To trust others, which explained, perhaps, why she hadn't had a lasting relationship since, and to trust herself, her own judgment.
She thought she should hate him for that but... she didn't. She couldn't bring herself to hate him in spite of what he had done. The thing was, Brent had deliberately hidden the truth from her, had lied right to her face. Cloud had been mixed up, there was no doubt of that, but he hadn't been malicious. He hadn't meant to steal all those things from her. In spite of the fact that they had made love, he had never told her he loved her. He had just been mixed up, not sure what he wanted, but that was all, or at least, that's what she wanted to believe.
No, Cloud hadn't made her any promises. It was her own expectations that had done her in. If anyone was to blame with this, it was her, not Cloud.
She picked up a tissue, the box still lying on the coffee table. She wiped her eyes and forced herself to stop crying.
No, she wasn't going to waste any tears on Brent. He didn't deserve that. She realized now she had an answer to Reno's earlier question. She didn't care what the ex Turk had done to him.
"I don't have the gil to pay for the cure, do I?" she asked.
Reno shook his head.
"Not unless you've got a million gil squirreled away somewhere that you haven't mentioned to me."
"No I don't," she said ruefully. She put the box of tissues down on the table and turned to look at him.
"So what does this mean?"
Reno sat back on the couch and rubbed his chin thoughtfully. He looked up at her for a moment, but then his eyes dropped down lower again.
"I think you know that as well as I do," he replied. "Someone is going to have to pay a little visit to Psi Co and 'borrow' a bit of their cure. Dr. Singh is the name of the man that created it, who's been administering it. He works out of the research center in the Psi Co building here in Junon, or at least he did a few years ago. That's where Brent took Jonathan. I'll have to check up on that to make sure that's still the case. We need information, and it's not going to be easy to get. This isn't your ordinary company secret we're talking about here. It's obvious that they've done a good job of hiding this all these years, or there would at least be a rumor about it, and I've heard nothing. Usually, no matter how good you are, there's almost always someone somewhere who talks, who gives some hint of what's going it. This seems like too big a secret to keep but they've somehow managed it. Still, I know a lot of people, and Rude does too. Now that we know what we're looking for, and who's involved, it's just a matter of time before we convince someone to tell us what's what. We have to know exactly where Dr. Singh will be and how to get into the building before we can act."
Tifa nodded slowly. It made sense of course. It was funny, she could just imagine her old friends in Avalanche hearing this news. She could just picture Barret ranting and waving his arms, demanding that they leave right away and just barge right in the front door without any plan whatsoever, and no one would object. Red might try to convince him of the wisdom of being more cautious, but he would be the only one, and his attempt would fall flat. The others might have various levels of... skepticism, shall we say, but they wouldn't voice them. Cid would just mutter some curses about those damn Psi Co bastards. Cait would tell them it was written in the stars, or some such nonsense. Cloud wouldn't say anything, but she knew he'd actually be all for Barret's plan. Vincent and Aeris would be indifferent, him because he didn't care, her because she just knew somehow that things would work out. And Yuffie? Yuffie would go along with anything that promised to net her more materia. So they'd barge in just like Barret said and the funny thing was, Aeris would be right, everything would somehow work out, or at least, that's the way it always had seemed to work.
Not with the Turks though. They didn't operate that way. They were more meticulous, more... professional? Everything that could be planned was. Every detail worked out. They went through all the possibilities and had a plan of action for each. It was funny to see Reno work that way, to tell the truth. It didn't seem to suit his personality at all, but she could see that he had been a very different person when he had that Turk uniform on. For perhaps the only time in his life he had taken something seriously. She supposed Tseng had a lot to do with that. He was the one who had instilled that in Reno, in all of the Turks. Still, considering the fact that Reno had such disdain for authority, she was surprised it had taken with him, but then again, she had a feeling that for some reason Tseng had been different in Reno's eyes. He was one of the few people that she suspected Reno had respect for. She didn't know why, she hadn't known either of them that well, but she thought it might have been the fact that Tseng had really cared for and watched out for the people who worked under him. Unlike all the other higher ups in Shinra, well, except for Reeve, of course, he'd actually cared about his employees.
Or so it seemed to her.
"I realize we don't have a lot of time," she heard Reno continue. "I suppose a week is about all we can afford before we act. It's not really as much time as I would like, but that's the way it goes. We'll just have to wait and see what we find out."
Again Tifa nodded. The clock was ticking. There might be a cure, but they didn't have it yet, and there was no guarantee they would. They only had maybe two weeks at the most before Karisa succumbed. They had to get it before that. In a way this made things worse. Before she had had no hope, and had, as such, been resigned to her fate, or at least well on her way to that point. She had spent all this time since she had found out her daughter had Meteor Fever steeling herself for the inevitable. Yet now, now she knew it wasn't inevitable, yet her daughter was by no means cured. What a cruel twist of fate it would be for her to die now, now that Tifa knew she could be saved.
But no, she wouldn't let herself think that. They'd save her. Somehow they would. She just knew it.
And the weirdest part of all was, it wouldn't be possible without Reno.
She had failed miserably with Brent. He hadn't told her anything, had stuck to his story in spite of her, let's face it, feeble efforts to get him to tell the truth. Reno had been right about that too. She couldn't force someone to talk when they didn't want to. She just wasn't like that and he had known that, known that better than she had which she had to admit scared her a little bit.
Or maybe a lot.
By now saying that his behavior surprised her was becoming passé. She didn't know what to think about how he was acting anymore. She had no idea how to handle it. He had slowly shredded her image of him, piece by piece, until now the tapestry was blank and was being replaced by... what? At this point she no longer had anything to go on. She had no idea what he would do, or how he would act. She had never met a man more enigmatic.
By the same token she had to give him credit. If it hadn't been for him they would have never found this out. If it hadn't been for him she would still have no hope. Whatever happened in the future, she didn't think she'd ever be able to pay him back for what he'd already done.
"Thank you Reno," she said.
He just looked at her, then after a moment shrugged in that no big deal type style that she was beginning to think of as a Reno trademark, just like his smirk, although now that she thought about it, she hadn't seen that in quite some time.
His hands were resting in his lap. Impulsively she reached out, resting her hand on top of one of his, then leaned forward and kissed him on the cheek.
Although this seemed to not phase him at all, the truth was Reno's electro mag rod could not have done a better job of stunning him. All this time he had been the unpredictable one. Reno considered himself very good at reading people. It was a handy talent to have and had meant the difference between life and death once or twice when he had been a Turk. He knew Tifa's opinion of him had changed, that she was warming up to him, but he certainly hadn't expected her to do this.
That wasn't all there was to it, however. It wasn't just that it was unexpected. There was more than that. The feel of her touch on his hand, the soft caress of her lips, even for a fleeting moment, left him... what? All fluttery inside? What kind of feeling was that? For a moment he felt like a little schoolboy who had just received his first kiss from the cute girl sitting next to him.
Which was ridiculous, of course. He was too old for that sort of shit. As she started to withdraw he felt another urge, the almost overwhelming feeling to grab hold of her and pull her to him, to press his lips against hers with such ferocity that it would weld them irrevocably together, if not in a literal sense, then at least in spirit.
If it were any other girl that was exactly what he would have done. Reno had never lacked confidence in his ability to appeal to the opposite sex. He had kissed more than one girl when she hadn't been expecting it. Had done it at pretty much any given opportunity, in fact. Sure, they might protest, or squeal or try to push him away, but they never tried very hard. It was what they wanted and they both knew it. It was all part of the game.
Yet for some reason, when Tifa sat back again, he hadn't moved. Hadn't lifted a finger. Instead he just sat there feeling vaguely embarrassed, not even sure why he felt that way.
She was different, he had to give her that. He wasn't even sure why, or how. All he knew was, he couldn't treat her like anyone else. And the truth was, that was driving him crazy.
He was looking at her again, his eyes inevitably drawn to her legs and she suddenly started to feel her own embarrassment return. She realized that he wasn't saying anything more, that he had passed on to her all the vital information that he was going to. There was no need for her to sit here any longer in her underwear. Yes, he had already seen what there was to see, but that didn't mean she didn't feel uncomfortable, and he probably did too. Besides, it wasn't quite as simple as that. It never was. She might not be showing more than she would in a bathing suit, and with her shirt was actually showing less, truth be told, but nevertheless it was still different. A woman walking down the street in her underwear wasn't showing anymore than a woman on the beach in a bathing suit, but the message she was sending was very different.
"I... I better go put something on," she said nervously.
She stood up, not waiting for a reply. Reno, resisting the very strong urge to tell her she was fine the way she was, didn't say anything.
She walked away. Even as she made her way to her bedroom she could feel Reno's eyes on her, knowing exactly where he was looking. Self consciously she tugged at the bottom of her shirt in the back, trying to pull it down to cover her, but she wasn't sure how well she succeeded.
She felt better once she reached the hallway and knew she was out of his sight, better still when she walked into her bedroom. As she pulled on a pair of shorts, she couldn't help but think that she should have done this sooner, as soon as he had walked in, in fact. It wasn't like her to prance around in front of a guy half naked.
Well, not unless she knew him really well.
Oh stop it, she thought to herself. She hadn't been prancing around. She'd been sleeping. She had been stupid and not locked the door and he caught her unawares. She wouldn't have wanted to wait for what he had to tell her anyway. A cure for Karisa was more important to her than Reno seeing a bit of skin. Hell, to know that her daughter had a chance to live, she wouldn't have cared if she was stark naked for that news.
Even so, it might have been better to have come in here right away. What had Reno been thinking, seeing her sitting there like that? Well, she could imagine what he had been thinking, but that wasn't the point. The point was, what kind of message was she sending him? She hoped he realized that it was his mentioning a cure that had made her do it.
The more she thought about it, though, the more it began to seem like a mistake. With Reno, it was very likely that he had drawn all the wrong conclusions. She could easily imagine that she had come off as somewhat of a tease by doing what she had done. She didn't want to give him the wrong impression. She didn't want to lead him on.
Did she?
Now where did that thought come from? Of course she didn't. She was having a hard enough time just thinking of Reno as a friend. To think of him as anything more than that, well, it was just... crazy.
Feeling more comfortable now that she was wearing something presentable, she walked back into the hallway, determined to just push out of her mind all this nonsense and concentrate on what was important, getting the cure for Karisa.
Reno wasn't on the couch when she reentered the living room. Instead he was in the kitchen. He had opened her cabinet and taken out a bottle of liquor and now stood by the kitchen table pouring himself a drink.
She stopped, looking at him. He glanced over at her but then went back to what he was doing, as if it was the most natural thing in the world to take out someone's liquor without first asking.
"You want one?" he asked.
Considering the fact that he already had out two ice filled glasses and was filling them both, it seemed like he had already made that decision. Unless of course, they were both for him. Two glasses, less time wasted refilling them. With that thought what little disapproval she felt faded away. She really shouldn't be surprised by his antics anymore. And besides that, after what he had done tonight, he certainly deserved a drink.
"Yes," she said.
He handed her one of the glasses, then walked back into the living room and sat down once again on the couch. He had brought his own glass and the bottle as well, and he placed the latter down on the coffee table in front of him.
Tifa sat down as well, not on the opposite end of the couch this time, but right beside him.
"Why did you walk in earlier?" she asked.
"Hmm?"
"I heard you knock. I was going to answer the door, but I had been sleeping and was a little out of it. You don't usually just walk in Reno. Why did you do it this time?"
He thought about that for a moment and shrugged.
"I don't know," he replied. "You were with Brent. I knew you had some kind of confrontation. He had a cut on his lip. Your door was unlocked. I thought maybe..."
He stopped, obviously hesitant to continue. Tifa just tilted her head and looked at him in that 'go on' sort of way.
"I thought something might have happened to you," he finished.
Tifa took a sip from her drink, trying to suppress her smile at his seeming discomfort with her question. It was unusual for her to see him like that, it was usually him who had her in that position. She decided, because of that, to milk it for what it was worth.
"So what, you were worried about me?" she pressed.
"Yeah, well... I don't know," he stumbled. "I guess so."
This time she did smile.
"You know, all this time, I had no idea you were really such a caring person," she said sweetly.
He just glared at her.
"And you can be a real shit sometimes, you know that?" he stated.
She laughed.
"Sorry," she said. "I just couldn't help needling you a bit. It's okay Reno, I won't put a dent in your macho image of yourself. If you want go on acting like Mr. I don't give a damn, I won't argue with you. Though like I said once before, I don't see why you do it, since the caring side of you is much more appealing."
"You just say that because you're a girl," he replied. "Women don't look at the world the same way men do."
"Amen to that," she agreed.
He gave her a sour look, but didn't bother to reply, instead lifting his drink to his ips.
"Did you find a job yet?" she queried.
The sour look remained on his face.
"Not yet no," he replied.
She looked down thoughtfully at her drink for a moment, then at him again.
"You know you really should...
"Stop," he interrupted.
She did stop, just looking at him.
"Please don't lecture me," he told her.
She frowned.
"I didn't mean..."
"I don't want to talk about that," he interrupted again. "We did the serious thing already when I first came in here. Can we just lighten things up a bit?"
She took another sip from her drink. It was hard liquor, not what she would have chosen herself, but that didn't mean she couldn't handle it.
"Okay. So what do you suggest? Shall we play 'where do you want to live' again?"
"Nah, we already did that," he replied. "Hmm, that seems like a long time ago now, doesn't it?"
"Yeah," she said slowly. A lot had changed since then.
He drained his drink, then picked up the bottle and poured another.
"You know, it was funny, I was thinking of my friends from Avalanche a while back," Tifa went on. "I was wondering what kind of reaction they would have to see me hanging out with you."
Reno snorted.
"They'd probably want to kick my ass," he replied. "Not that they could, of course," he said with a grin.
"Oh please," she replied. "How many times did we beat the crap out of you?"
"They probably wouldn't be too happy with you either," he continued, ignoring her comment. "Fraternizing with the enemy."
"You're not the enemy anymore, Reno."
"Maybe not, but I doubt they'd see it that way."
She had to agree with that. Some of them, Barret coming immediately to mind, would not forgive him. Would never forgive him.
She fell silent for a moment, thinking she should be in that group too. Jessie, Biggs and Wedge. It had been her friends too who had died when the plate fell on Sector Seven. She still felt guilty, being here with Reno, knowing that he had been the cause of that.
She didn't want to get into that right now. It was over long ago. Things had changed. Reno could very well have saved Karisa's life tonight. If he had made mistakes in the past, in spite of how she felt about her old friends, she was willing to forgive it now, if not forget.
That was the problem with being friends with Reno. There was always that old baggage there, in the background. It would always be there. It would never go away and she was just going to have to live with that.
"Maybe I should get in touch with them," she said slowly.
"With who?" Reno questioned.
"With everyone from Avalanche," she replied. "Or at least some of them. Look, it seems like this is kind of right down their alley. Psi Co. has a cure and won't release it to the general public. We need to get in there and get it out. It's almost like Shinra all over again, don't you think?"
Reno didn't reply to that for a long time, but by the look on his face she got the impression he wasn't all that thrilled with the idea. She could hardly blame him. After all, why would he want to see the people who had been the downfall of the company that he had invested everything in?
Yet that included her too, now didn't it, and he didn't seem to have any problem with her.
"Why is it that you don't hate me?" she questioned.
That made him look up.
"What brought that on?"
"I was a member of Avalanche. We were the one's that destroyed Shinra. You lost everything when that happened, didn't you? So why don't you hate me for that?"
She put her glass down on the table, empty. Reno refilled it.
"Do you hate me?" he questioned.
"Well, I don't know if hate is the word," she replied. "I... disliked you. A lot. When we first met again, in that alley, if I had known it was you before I intervened, I'm not sure I wouldn't have just walked away."
And where would she be then, she wondered. It was funny what that one simple act of kindness on her part had turned into. If she hadn't met him, if she had turned away, if it hadn't been threatening to rain and she had taken her usual way home, what would have changed? Would she have run into him somewhere else. It was that whole fate versus free will thing, she supposed. Had it been inevitable that they meet, or would she have not seen him at all, not met him and if so, what would have happened to her daughter then?
She didn't have any answer to that, of course.
"I'm glad I didn't though... now," she said quickly.
"It was just business," Reno said, in answer to her earlier question. "I was doing my job. It wasn't anything personal."
Tifa nodded. She understood although she wasn't sure she could have been that way herself, she wasn't sure if she could separate her personal life from what Shinra had done.
"Why are you helping me Reno?"
"Why do you keep asking me that?"
"Have I been asking you that a lot?"
"Maybe not a lot."
"So why?"
"What difference does it make?"
"It makes a big difference."
"Why?"
Tifa hesitated for a moment.
"I don't know why. It just does, okay? I just want to know what makes you tick."
"Why would you possibly want to know that?"
"Would you stop answering my questions with a question?"
"No. There, that wasn't a question, now was it?"
She sighed. It was either that, or strangle him.
"What's your worst fear?" she asked.
"Huh?"
"What's your worst fear?"
"Why are you asking me that?"
"I told you, I want to know what makes you tick."
"I'm not afraid of anything."
"Oh good grief."
Reno grinned at her.
"Okay, maybe that's a bit of an exaggeration. So what, are you trying to grill me for weaknesses?"
"No of course not! Why would I want to do that? We're not enemies anymore, as you're so fond of pointing out."
"Not at the moment. You never know though," he replied. "Friends become enemies, just like enemies sometimes become friends."
"What, you don't trust me?"
"I don't trust anyone."
"I see you haven't lost all of your cynicism entirely."
"It would be foolish to do so," he replied. "A little cynicism is a healthy thing."
She supposed that was probably true.
"What, you think I would use what you say against you?"
"Its always a possibility," he replied. "Even friends do things like that. I've found that if you ever tell anyone about your weaknesses, somewhere along the line they'll inevitably end up trying to exploit them, even your 'friends'."
"I don't believe that. My friends wouldn't hurt me."
"Cloud never hurt you?"
She opened her mouth, then closed it.
"That's different."
"How so? You had a weakness for Cloud and he walked away from you, knowing full well what it would do to you."
"That's not the same thing! He didn't hurt me on purpose. He was just confused."
"How do you know that?"
"I... I just know. We grew up together. I knew him better than anyone, and he wouldn't do that to me."
"Maybe, maybe not. It just seems funny to me how this person you grew up with, you knew so well, who was probably your best friend, ending up messing up your life better than anyone you might have considered as your enemy."
"Yeah, well..." she began, but then shut her mouth. She knew what he was saying wasn't true, well, the part about Cloud messing up her life better than any enemy was true, your friends always had more power to hurt you, really hurt you, than your enemies, but not the part about him doing it deliberatly, but she also realized there was no way to prove that. There was no way to prove Cloud's intent.
"So you're not going to tell me?" she said, getting back to her original question.
"Well, I don't suppose it would do any harm, considering its not something you can use against me."
She didn't bother denying that would ever happen this time, just waited for him to continue.
"I'm always been afraid of dying somewhere alone, forgotten."
That gave Tifa pause. She had been expecting some kind of flippant response, but he looked and sounded serious.
"Really?"
"Yes, really," he said in a voice that sounded tired of constantly being questioned.
She thought about that for a bit.
"Funny, that coming from you, considering how you seem determined to push everyone away. What, are you trying to make it a self fulfilling prophecy?"
"Well, no, not really."
"Then what then?"
He looked uncomfortable.
"Is this another way of trying to see what makes me tick?"
"Yeah, I guess."
"All right, you want to know why I'm helping you? Why don't we look at this logically for a moment. I mean, there's only a limited amount of possibilities, now aren't there? So let's go over them and see what we can come up with, shall we?"
He paused for a moment, then went on.
"One, I want to go to bed with you."
Tifa's mouth opened, but nothing came out.
"Oh stop gawking at me," he said. "It's an obvious possibility, right? And I'm not going to deny it hasn't occurred to me, just as I'm sure you've considered that possibility yourself, but does it really have any merit? It's not like I'm hard up for women. Of course, there's always the ego factor of making another conquest, now isn't there? The thing is, though, I have to weigh the costs as well now don't I? So let's see, my plan is to break into probably the most secure building on the planet, knowing that it's certain death to get caught, so I can get the cure for your daughter and make you so grateful that you'll be more than willing to hop into bed with me as a reward. I don't know, that's a pretty high risk, don't you think, considering I could go down to the local bar and probably talk one of the waitresses there into having sex with pretty much the only danger to myself being the possibility of picking up a communicable disease. I mean, it's not like I have a hard time getting women in bed. I wouldn't have any difficulty getting a woman nearly as beautiful as you in bed with me for a lot less cost. So why would I risk my life to get you? Do you really think you're worth that much? Do you really think I would think you're worth that much?"
Tifa had no idea how to even begin to reply to this. She couldn't believe he had even said it to her face. She felt her cheeks reddening at such candid talk. And yet it was a typical Reno rant, insulting her and complimenting her all in one huge jumble. Nearly as beautiful as her. She certainly hadn't missed that, but did he really think she had an ego like that?
"No, I don't... its just..." she stammered.
"Two," he counted off, ignoring her protests. "I've seen the error of my ways. I realize all the horrible things I did with Shinra and want to repent. And what better way to do that then to help those who once were my enemies."
"Three," he continued. "I haven't changed at all. This is all an evil plot on my part in which I act so erratic that you go insane trying to figure me out, all as my way of getting you back for what you did to Shinra."
"Four," he went on without giving her a chance to say anything at all. "We're friends. People help their friends. That's all there is to it."
"Now, can you think of anything else I might have missed?"
Tifa was still trying to catch up. She had hardly expected to be bombarded with this. No, she couldn't think of anything else, but then again, she wasn't good at thinking on her feet. If something else did occur to her, it would most likely come to her tomorrow morning some time, after this conversation was over and Reno was long gone. Why did she always think of her best counter arguments long after it was too late?
Well, actually, there was one other thing she could think of, but it was so ridiculously far fetched that she didn't bother to even say it.
"No, I can't think of anything," she said.
"All right then, so which of these possibilities do you think is the most likely?"
"Well, two is definitely out," she said after a moment.
"Thanks a lot," he replied with a grin. "But anyway, what difference does it make why I'm doing it? Why should you even care? I'm helping, that's all that matters, isn't it?"
"Well, no, not really," she replied. "Motivation is important too. Why someone does something counts just as much as doing it."
"Does it? Why is that?"
"Because some people do things because they just want to do good, while others do good things but only to serve themselves. There's a big difference between those two kinds of people."
"Is there? I'm sorry, I don't see that. Hmm, okay, here's an example. Two people donate gil for a... library, say, in different towns that don't have them so the kids can have things to read. The first one does it because he just wants to do good. The second one does it so every one who walks by that library can see the plaque by the door that says 'Donated by so and so'. He's done it just to impress everyone with his money and power, but so what? In both towns the kids still have a library, so what difference does it make what the man's motives really were?"
"In that case it might not, but I still like the first guy better."
"Fine, except the second man doesn't say that he donated the gil for the library because of his ego. He doesn't have to. So how can you tell the difference? That's the thing. No one can read minds, you can never tell for sure why someone does something, even if it seems good."
"There you go being cynical again."
"And as I said before sometimes that can be a healthy thing. You can question the motives of anyone, no matter what they do."
"No matter what?"
"Yeah, no matter what."
"I don't know about that. What if.. what if one of the men donated the gil anonymously? If he didn't take any credit for it, then there can be no question that he wasn't doing it for selfish reasons."
"I'm not so sure about that."
"What makes you say that? No one would know he was the one who gave the gil so how could that be considered selfish?"
"Well, he would know, certainly, and there is a bit of an ego boost just knowing he did it, even if no one else did, but there might be even more motivation than that. After all, there is no anonymity in front of God, now is there? If you believe in that sort of thing, of course."
"So you're saying he could be doing it to get in good with God?"
"You have to admit it's a possibility. I'm sure its happened before and will again. You start getting close to being dead, and a lot of people suddenly seem to become believers."
"That's just so cynical."
"Yes, it is. And I'm not saying that's what happens in every case. What I am saying is, there's no way for anyone but the person doing it to really know what their motives are. The noblest of actions can be perceived by others as self serving. It all depends on how you look at it."
"Do you believe in an afterlife?" she asked suddenly.
"Oh what, you going to get all religiousy on me all of a sudden?"
"Religousy?"
"Yes. Religousy."
"Well, no, not really," she said defensively.
"I'm not even sure I believe in this life."
"C'mon."
"I mean it."
"So what are you saying, that this life isn't real? That it's some sort of manufactured thing that we only perceive to be true? Didn't I see that in a movie once?"
"I don't know," he replied. "I mean, take a look at what they're doing with virtual reality these days. Okay it's not all that impressive at the moment but its going to get better. I can see the day coming where it might be indistinguishable from reality. That scares me. I'm afraid I'm going to be walking down the street one day minding my own business when the clouds will suddenly part above my head and this voice will proclaim 'deposit twenty five gil to continue'."
Tifa laughed.
"I had no idea you were such a font of wisdom," she told him.
"Yeah, well, I've told you before you don't know much about me."
"Not from lack of trying."
"No, not anymore."
"Who knows, maybe we're all just characters in someone's novel," she suggested.
"Well, it would make a good book, I suppose, what we're doing," Reno commented.
"Maybe. It might not even be about us though," she said. "We might just have bit parts."
"If it's a book, I would have to be the main character," Reno contradicted. "Don't you think?"
"Oh yes, you would have to be," she mimicked.
"Oh shut up."
She glanced up at the clock on her VCR.
"Oh geez, look how late it's getting."
"Late, it's not late," Reno protested.
"You always say that," she responded.
"Because it's true. What, do you turn into a pumpkin if you stay up past midnight?"
"No, I'm just tired, that's all. I haven't been getting much sleep lately."
She stood up. He glared at her for a moment, hoping she'd change her mind, even though he knew she wouldn't. Reluctantly he got up as well.
"All right, all right, I get the picture," he grumbled and sauntered towards the door.
"You coming to the hospital tomorrow?" she asked, coming up behind him.
"I'll see if I have time," he said. "I have to go case out the Psi Co building. It's not like I haven't been in there before, but I need to refresh my memory. We need a lot of information and we don't have much time."
"Of course," she replied immediately. "If you need my help with anything..."
"Don't worry, I'll let you know if I do," he assured her.
He opened the door, the cold air rushing in immediately clashing with the comfortable warmth from the heat in her apartment and liquor in his belly. He stepped out and took a deep breath.
"Well, I suppose I'll see you tomorrow then," Tifa said from behind him.
"Yeah," he replied. "Oh, wait a second."
He turned and saw her standing in the doorway, looking at him.
"What?"
"So, now you tell me."
"Tell you what?"
"What are you most afraid of? What's your worst fear?"
She thought about that for just a moment.
"Oh that. Spiders. Big hairy ones. Yuck!"
Then she closed the door.
Reno stood there for a moment, then turned and strolled down her walkway and into the street. It had been a productive day and he was feeling pretty good about himself. He had gotten to kick the shit out of Brent, and this time with Tifa's blessing. That in itself made it a stand out day. They had found a potential cure for Karisa. And perhaps most significant of all, he had seen Tifa in her underwear. Those legs! He just couldn't believe those legs. She was gorgeous, and the more he saw of her, the more he thought so.
It wasn't even midnight yet. He was feeling chipper, not tired at all. He didn't want to go home. The night was young and he wanted to enjoy it.
He headed downtown, closer to his place and a certain bar he had been frequenting with some regularity of late. There was a new waitress there, a cute blonde, who had caught his eye. Seeing Tifa the way he had, well, had put him in the mood for some action. Hopefully she'd be there.
It just so happened she was, and came over to him shortly after he had been seated. Turning on the charm he soon learned she would be getting off from work in about an hour. It wasn't hard. He had seen that look in her eye when she had first noticed him last time he was here. He'd seen that look before, plenty of times. By now he could practically walk into a joint and just stand there, looking around and pointing out the women who he'd end up with later on. Oh, he wasn't one hundred percent on the mark. There were occasionally misjudgments, but on the whole he was almost always right.
He spent the hour getting comfortably drunk. Not fall down drunk. That might come later, afterwards. Now he drank just enough to get that mellow feeling, that feeling that all was right with the world.
An hour later they set out for her place, her chatting happily in his ear as they walked, him pretending to listen. Once they arrived it didn't take them long to get into it. She was young and soft and quite pretty, not to mention surprisingly vocal once in bed. All in all it was a great night, the best sex he had had in a long time, almost as long as he could remember, in fact.
And yet...
Yet there was something different this time. This night he experienced something he had never experienced before. For the first time in his life, throughout the small talk, the come on, the walk to her place and yes, the sex, he had been distracted. A vision had hovered in the back of his mind, and had not faded away, not even at the moment of greatest passion. He had never had any problem concentrating on the task at hand when it came to sex, never had any problem giving the woman he was with his full attention, but for the entire time he was with her that night, every hour, every minute, he had been thinking of someone else.